LGBTQ+ Guide
Biological Sex
-
Male
Assigned Male at Birth (AMAB) with male reproductive anatomy.
It is important to remember that physical traits do not determine someone's gender identity. People can decide for themselves which gender they identify which - male, female, non-binary or intersex. They may also transition to a preferred gender if their identity doesn't match the gender they were assigned at birth. -
Female
Assigned Female at Birth (AFAB) with female reproductive anatomy.
It is important to remember that physical traits do not determine someone's gender identity. People can decide for themselves which gender they identify which - male, female, non-binary or intersex. They may also transition to a preferred gender if their identity doesn't match the gender they were assigned at birth. -
Intersex
Intersex people have reproductive anatomy which doesn't align with the typical definitions of male or female bodies. This can manifest in a variety of ways, as there is a huge natural diversity in all body types. Sometimes intersex features can be obvious from birth and sometimes they aren't discovered until puberty or later.
It is important to remember that physical traits do not determine someone's gender identity. People can decide for themselves which gender they identify which - male, female, non-binary or intersex. They may also transition to a preferred gender if their identity doesn't match the gender they were assigned at birth.
Gender Identity
-
Non-Binary
Non-binary people feel their gender doesn't fit into a clear male or female identity. This is a type of transgender identity, which can be incredibly flexible and varied. 'Genderqueer', 'agender', 'genderfluid', 'two-spirit' and 'androgynous' are all terms which describe fitting outside gender binary labels.
Some non-binary people might use 'they/them' as their pronouns, which is less defined than 'she/her' or 'he/him'. They might also change their name to a preferred name which isn't tied to a specific gender and they may continue to change their gender identity throughout their life.
In Heartstopper Darcy identifies as non-binary. -
Queer
Queer is an umbrella term that can be used by anyone within the LGBTQ+ community to describe themselves, regardless of their sexual or gender identity. It can be a way to maintain flexibility in your identity if you don't want to commit to a specific label.
-
Questioning
Someone might describe themselves as 'questioning' if they are aware that they are part of the LGBTQ+ community but don't yet feel ready to choose a label. They might be questioning their sexual or gender identity, or both. Anyone who feels that they are in a process of discovery can use the term, even if they ultimately decide they are straight.
Like Mr. Farouk in Heartstopper, people can address their gender or sexuality at any age. There is no correct timeline for coming out and it's a process that can take a lifetime. -
Transgender
Trans people have a gender that doesn't align with the sex they were assigned at birth. Trans men were Assigned Female at Birth (AFAB) and now identify as men. Trans women were Assigned Male at Birth (AMAB) and now identify as women. The oppositve of transgender is cisgender, meaning that you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.
As with all queer identities, transness is a spectrum that varies hugely from person to person. There are many ways you can be trans, including genderqueer and non-binary identities.
In Heartstopper Elle knew she was a girl from a very young age, and feels comfortable and settled with her gender.
Sexual Identity / Attraction
-
Aromantic
Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction. There are many ways to experience being aromantic: some may want romantic relationships, while others might not. Some aromantic people are also asexual, otherwise known as 'aro-ace'.
In Heartstopper, Isaac realises that he is aromantic after fellow student James kisses him in Paris. The idea of being with someone sounds nice to him in theory but it's not what he wants for himself in reality.
It can be hard being single in a world where everyone seems to focus on finding romance. Isaac sometimes feels like a third wheel, but he learns that friendships are just a valuable as romantic relationships and that they can provide all of the intimacy, trust and companionship that he needs. -
Asexual / Demisexual
Asexual people experience little to no sexual attraction. This is something that is personal to each individual. Some 'ace' people might have sex with their partner, some may require strong emotional bonds before they want to have sex (this is called 'demisexuality'), and others might be sex-repulsed.
There's no 'wrong' way to be asexual. Labels can be useful for defining how you feel, but they aren't a set of rules that you need to follow.
In Heartstopper, Isaac, Aled and Tori all identify as asexual in different ways. Tori explores her asexuality through a new friendship with Michael. Aled is in a romantic relationship with childhood friend Daniel, whereas Isaac is aromantic as well as asexual. -
Bisexual / Pansexual
Bisexuality means having romantic feelings for people of your own gender and people of other genders. This might also be called 'pansexuality' or 'fluid'. Attraction is a spectrum and bisexual people might express a preference for a certain gender identity.
In Heartstopper Nick identifies as bisexual after developing a crush on his friend Charlie. -
Gay
Gay men are attracted to people of their own gender - emotionally, romantically and/or sexually. 'Gay' can also be used as an umbrella term by any LGBTQ+ person to describe themselves, just like 'queer'.
In Heartstopper Charlie & Mr. Ajayi identify as gay. -
Lesbian
A lesbian is a woman or non-binary person who is attracted to women - emotionally, romantically and/or sexually.
In Heartstopper Tara, Darcy & Coach Singh all identify as lesbians. -
Queer
Queer is an umbrella term that can be used by anyone within the LGBTQ+ community to describe themselves, regardless of their sexual or gender identity. It can be a way to maintain flexibility in your identity if you don't want to commit to a specific label.
-
Questioning
Someone might describe themselves as 'questioning' if they are aware that they are part of the LGBTQ+ community but don't yet feel ready to choose a label. They might be questioning their sexual or gender identity, or both. Anyone who feels that they are in a process of discovery can use the term, even if they ultimately decide they are straight.
Like Mr. Farouk in Heartstopper, people can address their gender or sexuality at any age. There is no correct timeline for coming out and it's a process that can take a lifetime.
Other Terminology
-
Allyship
It's important for those who identify as straight and cisgender to stand alongside LGBTQ+ people, whether that means advocating for their legal rights and welfare or offering a support network to people they know personally. Queer people flourish in spaces where they feel accepted and supported by those around them.
Many queer people also find love, support and protection in their 'chosen family'. These families may not be connected by blood, but instead building strong bonds through shared experiences and identities.
In Heartstopper, the allies and 'chosen families' around Nick and Charlie, from teachers and therapists to parents and friends, are hugely important to them and their mental health. -
Coming Out
'Coming out' describes the process of a person choosing to share their LGBTQ+ identity with others. It is often seen as a turning point in people's lives but, in reality, it doesn't happen in just one moment. It can be a long process and, even though it might not always go smoothly. It's an important step on the journey towards showing the world who you really are.
Some people decide to never come out, or to only reveal their identity to certain groups of people. There are valid reasons to stay 'in the closet', including safety concerns and a desire for privacy, and nobody owes it to anyone to come out. In Heartstopper, Nick feels a big drive to come out, but characters like Aled are comfortable keeping their personal identity more private. -
Pride
Pride is both a feeling and a global, annual festival. The concept of pride in LGBTQ+ communities can mean different things to different people - it can be a protest, a celebration, an identity and so much more.
Annual Pride events give LGBTQ+ people around the world a time and place to come together, not only to honour their identities but also as a form of resistance against inequality and prejudice.